


The New Girl

by cytogeneticist



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/M, this happens before s12 until they find out the truth about felix, this is my new crack ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 22:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3787291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cytogeneticist/pseuds/cytogeneticist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's this girl in yellow armor who suddenly appeared out of nowhere and decided to join them. They say she's cool. Tucker says she's hot. Grif says she's an idiot. And Felix says he doesn't give a rat's ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The New Girl

**Author's Note:**

> i saw a post in tumblr saying that what if sister was with them in chorus and imagine her flirting with the lieutanents. imagine her flirting with FELIX. i imagined it and fuck, it's cute. i just hope i did their characters justice to at least make them look compatible. but don't expect this to be romantic because you know, it's felix :)

Felix is really tired of the Federal Army's bullshit. They find so many ways to keep themselves busy. Instead of doing some training, they waste their time by playing around and listening to their new captains' boring stories. Felix bets he can tell cooler stories than those jokes since mercenaries are always doing the dangerous missions.

But eh, it's always easier to kill the weak ones. There just won't be much action.

And as of now, Felix is really bored. No command came from either Control or Kimball today, so he's just spending his time by throwing knives at dummies while the others are busy fussing over the new girl.

Oh, has he mentioned yet? Well, there's this girl in yellow armor who suddenly appeared out of nowhere and decided to join them. They say she's cool. Tucker says she's hot. Grif says she's an idiot. And Felix says he doesn't give a rat's ass.

Out of curiousity though, he did came to see her once, just to see what's so great about her, only ending up disappointed because she doesn't look all _that_ special. She's just like those Sim Troopers - an idiot who'll probably be one of his kills. Okay, Felix admits she's pretty but that's it. He'll only talk to her if it's necessary.

And that talk is going to happen now since she's suddenly approaching him. Gonna have to put on that happy face again, Felix.

"Hey there, cutie, what'cha doing?" she says flirtily. Felix deduces her as one of the happy-go-lucky ones but naive types.

"As you can see," he answers matter-of-factly, "I'm throwing knives."

"Wow, that's kinda hot."

Of course it's hot. Everything Felix does is hot, "I do my best," he smirks beind his helmet.

"I thought Andersmith was the hottest but damn, your armor looks hot. I wonder what you'd look like without it."

Her and Tucker probably gets along well. They might even be a great couple, that is if Tucker's not so hung up with that male freelancer.

"Your name's Felix, right? I'm Kai, and if you're down for it, wanna get to know me better?"

It's been a long time since Felix got laid because he had to deal with this war crap. Kai looks like a good fuck so sure, he'll take the offer.

 

* * *

 

Felix never expected this. He never expected to get dragged along to meet Kai's friends, who are the Reds and Blues, and fucking eat with them. He usually eats with them - because come on, who wouldn't want to watch their victims eating happily wihout knowing they'll never eat again since they'll die anyway - but he expected to get down and dirty with the new girl.

"So you're telling me that you guys are siblings?" but of course, he still continues to be the lovable douchebag that he pretends to be, "How fucking awesome is that? Serving the same army with your brother because you don't want to get separated seems like a really good family story," especially if it ends in tragedy.

"Oh yeah, it's so cool and amazing and we love each other so much," Grif says with sarcasm. If Felix kills his sister, this guy will surely cry. He can't wait to make that happen.

"So what else should I know about?" Felix asks as if he's so interested in knowing more about the girl.

"She's great in bed," Tucker replies, probably winking behind his helmet at Kai, "I have my own room now, Kai. Wanna go do something fun in it?"

Kai rejects him with a shake of her head, "Maybe next time. I want to spend more time with Felix here."

Felix snorts at that. Even with girls, Tucker manages to lose to him. And then he feels Grif glaring at him. Yup, we've got a brother complex here.

"Dude, what the fuck are you going to do with my sister?"

"You know, stuff."

"Like making cookies!" they hear Caboose shout.

And Kai seems to agree with that idea, "That sounds great. Let's do that!"

Uh...

What?

 

* * *

 

Later on, Felix, Kai, and Caboose finds themselves making a bunch of cookies. This is really frustrating for Felix because when the hell did this army make a baking room? Where did they even get the supplies? Did Kimball actually allow this?

Felix finds himself hating this place more and more.

"We're almost done, guys!" Kai says with a big grin. They weren't wearing their armor so Felix gets to see her whole shining face, which is really cute. But you know what's cuter? Her face covered in blood.

Felix laughs in his head. Man, he can't wait to kill these fuckers.

"We just have to..." Kai takes the tray with the unbaked cookies and puts it inside the oven, "and wait."

"Yes, waiting is fun," Caboose says as he sits in front of the oven, staring intently inside. What a fucking moron.

Kai then stands beside Felix, "Hey, hot stuff."

He smirks at her, "Hello, cutie. What are we gonna do now while we wait?"

"Any suggestions?" she says with a hint of flirting. Oh yes, is this finally it?

"Felix!" apparently not because suddenly, Palomo comes in, "Kimball wants to see you."

A new mission, he guess. Fucking finally. He might not get it on with Kai but he'll finally get to be in a new mission and kill stuff, and that is way better than fucking people.

 

Sure enough, Kimball tells him, with Tucker and his so-called 'green team', to infiltrate the enemy base and gather much information about them and their prisoners. Tucker feels estatic because he'll be able to get closer in finding more about where his friends are. Felix feels amazing because Tucker looks like an idiot since he doesn't know anything about what's actually happening.

And so, the mission ends really well because Tucker actually managed to let two of his team members killed. Who knew he had the guts to be selfish just to save his stupid friends?

But the teal captain still gets to be annoying with all his whining and complaining because he lost two soldiers. Felix even gives an awesome speech about how That's war, Tucker. People die.

 

* * *

 

Things continue on to be less boring. The Reds and Blues organized a special team that will help rescue their friends and they use Felix in their training. Felix is kind of having fun messing with these incompetent losers.

But there's still this issue with the new girl. Well, not exactly new anymore since she's been here for weeks but she's not really doing anything other than stand around and flirt with the lieutanents. She's even worse than Tucker now. And when she's not flirting with them, she just kept on following Felix and flirting with _him_ instead.

Felix is not complaining, though. He can't help it if he's so hot and awesome. And it's nice to have someone around to constantly remind him about those things. His ego just keeps on boosting more and more.

"Wanna do something fun?" Kai says in the middle of the two of them polishing his knives.

"What sort of fun?" he wants to get his hopes up but after that cookie incident, he's not trusting her anymore.

"I don't know. Fun stuff, I guess," there was a hint of suggestivenes in her voice and Felix's dick is suddenly doing the talking.

"If those fun stuff involve doing something with our mouths then sure, let's do that."

"It's even better than our mouths."

Okay, Felix is sold so he lets Kai take his hand and they eventually hid themselves in her room. Hell fucking yes, they're actually going to do it.

"Just let me get some stuff," she says as she goes to get something from her closet.

"Take all the time you need."

He can wait as long as the waiting turns out to be something good, so after five minutes, Kai turns to face him and there were - are those hair clips and ties? Oh god, he actually fell for it again. He's so fucking horny that he actually managed to let a girl one-up him. This is so embarassing. He is never going to let Locus know this.

It's this girl's fault, anyway. Why does she have to be so unpredictable?

"I thought your hair is long enough to make cute tiny braids on it so... wanna let me braid your hair?" he hears her say.

Felix just sighs because he is so goddamn done with this person. He wants to reach the knife from his pocket but he needs to be patient. All in good time, Felix, all in good time.

"Yeah, sure, just fuck me up."

If only she does do that.

 

* * *

 

All of his frustrations come rushing out of him one day. Tucker goes to him saying that why won't he go easy on them. It all comes down with a lot of arguing and Tucker being an idiot again. Seriously, when will this asshole learn that there's a war and not everything goes according to plan?

And the other idiot, Kai, is not helping. She still gets to be the dense little girl that she is. But then again, Felix forgets how unpredictable she is.

"Can I go with you to your room?" Kai asks him, blocking his way to his room.

Felix rolls his eyes, "Why? To have a sleepover?"

Kai's eyes seem to shine with the idea, "Can we?"

"Hmm," he hums, acting like he's thinking about it, "No."

She doesn't move and just continues to stand firmly in front of him. She has this determined look and Felix tries to decipher what it means. They stare in each other's eyes, waiting for something like a confirmation to happen, and Felix is so glad they're not wearing their helmets because suddenly, Kai decides to move and smash their lips together.

Felix kisses back like they won't be able to to do it again because who knows, right? Maybe she's finally doing this because they might not see each other again tomorrow. She's unpredictable like that so that might happen. Or maybe this is just another one night stand for her. Felix is okay with that. She's just a one night stand for him, too.

They continued it inside his room. They never talked about why they're doing it and what it means, and that's good because even Felix doesn't know how to answer that. There is also nothing special about this since they're just a couple of attractive people who wants to fuck.

 

* * *

 

After that night, Felix never sees her again. Not just her but also the other Reds and Blues. Control knew something like this is going to happen so they were already prepared. Everything is already planned and all they need is the right time to attack.

 

* * *

 

The next time Felix sees her and the others is when Locus and the space pirates are aiming their guns at the losers. Felix is hiding in the shadows, waiting for his cue to come. And when he sees Tucker bring out a grenade, that's when he shows up.

He takes the grenade from Tucker and the truth finally comes out.

He spots where Kai is and from the way she's holding her gun, she is really pissed off, "I am going to blow holes on your dick, Felix! And not even the good kind of blow!"

Felix gives a cackle. Like he even gives a fuck about Kai. She's just another number to add in the pile of corpses.


End file.
